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Joy and Pain

finding joy in the journeyI am a huge Frankie Beverly and Maze fan and the song “Joy and Pain” is one of many of my favorite songs by this group.

There will be sorrow but you will endure
Where there’s a flower there’s the sun and the rain
Oh and it’s wonderful there both one in the same
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain

The song reminds me of my wise uncle I blogged about earlier who shared with me “You gotta take the good with the bad” when I told him of Kacey transitioning.  That was soo difficult for me to hear at that time and it is still kinda hard to accept at times.

That same wise uncle recently made his transition unexpectedly.  Yet another significant loss for me in a very short period. It stung like hell. I couldn’t breathe.

I made the commitment at the start of the year to make JOY my theme. I am determined to keep joy present in my life, even when it is challenging.  I had to push myself through the muck and yuck which for me was a lot of resentment, anger, and guilt to fight for even a piece of joy.  I resented my uncle for leaving things unorganized for a family member and me to sort through. I was angry because he promised he would marry me in the Spring.  I felt guilty for feeling anger and resentment.

Fighting for my joy meant reaching for my sneakers instead of more chocolate and red wine to self-soothe.

Fighting for my joy included allowing myself to rest when I needed to rest without feeling guilty for not tackling something off on my never-ending to-do-list.

Fighting for my joy required me to slow down my pace and letting go of my expectations by practicing patience and showing gratitude to those who wanted to help.

How do you fight for your JoY?

How do you find JoY in the journey?

Click here to give a listen to the song. I love the long instrumental interlude.  The melody like the words of the song reminds me life is a harmony.  Find your melody and fight for your JOY.



  1. Tamika  April 2, 2016

    I needed this! For me fighting for my Joy will require me to choose myself. Put myself first and realize I am worth celebrating.

    Thank you for this post!

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